curiosity on other people's experiences with abuse

i was not abused as a kid. the scariest thing that had ever happened to me familially was when i pissed off my dad in some way i don't remember (recall that i was a little shithead since i hadn't learned to tame the beast that was self-control autism-wise) and he got so fed up he punched a hole in the adjacent wall while maintaining eye contact and posture. i was at the bottom of a flight of stairs and he was at the top. my mom immediately came out and pretty quickly me and my sibling were scooped up and we slept the night at our uncle & aunt's. i am pretty lucky to have a non-abusive family. i unfortunately find that i'm pretty conflicted about people who've been abused; i'm really interested in the psychology behind systems but i always feel like asking questions could be offensive. it's always described as having more than one person in your head. but i've also read it described as a splintering of the sense of self, where it's really one person who's deluding themselves about who they are and the whole inter-alter connection thing is sufficiently held up as true and self-reinforced to where it's pretty much indistinguishable from really having more than one person and so it pretty much is the same thing, blackouts and memory-holding and all. which really does not help comprehension much. but then again that's only my hypothesis. but anyway i always find it interesting and always feel conflicted about it. i don't personally know anyone like that, the closest i could say is that i know someone who's been abused but seems pretty unaffected and is pretty vague about it. the biggest issue i think is that it's all so vague. recently i came upon someone's blog dedicated to discussing and describing it in a i would say pretty graphic way, little sketches of individual events, where the only vagueness is wherever they've had to withhold for safety reasons. and so but still i find it just so damn interesting. i keep myself away from prodding about the whole thing since i'm not a therapist but honestly i would like to be one just to be filled in on it all even if i can't give out any good recommendations about what to do next, especially since most of these people have already gotten their own thoughts on it themselves. myself i think just cannot be helped about it. i just want to prod at the hurt. where does this put me? is this an okay thing to be? so curious? i keep away from it just in case. it's a sensitive topic. i mean, nobody is going to waltz on up to me and dump a gallon of raw unfiltered information about every and all things that led up to the habit of sneaking into their own kitchen, so i at the very least really like to come upon peoples' blogs or what have you where they write all about it. i just feel so guilty about it! i don't really know what to think of it. i try not to have any fancy opinions one way or another beyond "that shouldn't have happened to you" but then i really hit home as nothing more than a spectator and so there's not really any point in telling me anything. very rarely i'll think to myself well what if i had been abused? and i were to bond with all these communities full of such kind fellow soldiers? but i wasn't, so i feel inconsiderate barging in on them.