raw thought

[comix64]

i really appreciate that there are so many people here, and they all think. that is, i like to see the blogs of the people. i like to see them. i cant really communicate this well, but; i like to see the blogs of people who think. the people around me, well, i dont really hear what they think. the people around me just joke and jest and angle their iphones at me, swipe up, swipe down and expect me to be amused by whatever batshit insane moving picture is displayed. and it unfortunately does, for a brief moment, make me smile. i dont know why. it isnt really even funny to me. i think its more the sad sad sentiment that someone sees something and thinks of me. but i smile anyway. and then i have to commit and pretend its funny and so they believe theyve done something i like and so but then they continue to show me stupid and ridiculous videos that mean nothing to me. i dont even remember any of them. but anyway, i like dreamwidth because here people think! and nobody around me is damn thinking anymore! theyve all seen the entertainment and found it too funny to think any longer about anything. nobody around me philosophizes, and so my philosophy is basic and confusing and im left stumbling about the staircase to enlightenment blind because nobody has taught me how big the steps are or detailed their contents. i know nothing of it. i know absolutely nothing of it, an entire raw thought. thinking is so strange and bizarre and disheartening to me! it frustrates me! but i find this okay in a way. a blind play-through of the deepest and oldest game, the game that entertains in a sophisticated and unloving manner by up and refusing to entertain one and requiring the applied focus, rather than the polarized idea of philosophy grabbing your attention and pulling you to it. i like people here. they focus. even if i read about their day and their opinion rather than their philosophy, it still counts to me. because it causes me to, and so it counts anyway. the kind human who spends a good, full life. my life is unfortunately dedicated to the computer, and i rarely leave it, but i especially appreciate the blog of that whom leaves often, lives, does much, acts lots, greets many, and is truly living. i am the basement rat and so the glances at the upper floor past the cellar door mean much to me. i hope to be a good philosopher eventually. to myself. i dont imagine many will care about philosophy by the time i am done with my very first life, the life here and now.