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comix64i wanted to write a little about how i felt, but by the time i got to my computer it mostly slipped my mind. something about a little more philosophy, and a vague fear, and the futures. it wasnt so bad but it was a little bad.
dreamwidth. dreamwidth. ever since i posted that little chatlog below ive felt i can write a little more loosely. my internal rules on writing felt a little less intimidating. i want to feel free to write, but i still feel it has to have substance. it has to mean. i write here a little formal, though all lowercase and no mispellings and such. besides apostrophes. but who cares about apostrophes? anyway, rereading that chatlog and then my older posts shot a stark contrast unto my sort-of literature-voice. how i read. i read by talking in my head though its essentially just typing and my mind being nothing but a monologue of what im writing as/a little before its written. a quickdraft. a few seconds before its typed i think a word in my head, like how i talk.
im a little bored. i seem to have heard that being bored is good for you. and at any rate the most my subconscious slips past me in terms of coercing me to be entertained is turning on some music.
entertainment?
that book, infinite jest, it slowly and over a quite-interestingly-almost-surely-unrelated series of probably around four stories, in a pretty linearly but not entirely linear fashion, instilled in me that entertainment is everywhere and maybe you should try not being entertained to see how big that is. the entertainment. everyone is entertained! and its okay but lately its quite a shitty entertainment. you could say about my person that it is a failed entertainment to me. ba dum tss! ("a failed entertainment" was the working name for infinite jest.)
the music is off. i turned it off a bit ago.
i guess i want my posts to be a big chunk of subjects all at once... but what if i post it and decide to write more? i dont want to edit it and i dont want to make another. but i think its a little more reasonable to make another than to edit it. but for some reason i seem to have an aversion to both. i only want to write about what's happened to me when things happen to me. i seem to want to write about actions and not thoughts. despite my efforts to catalog my thoughts. but that quarrel with myself will happen when it happens. and not now. because i am writing about my thoughts now. but i seem a little burnt out. so i will stop here.
ah! ah! a little more. an edit, to add; i think infinite jest's year system (YDAU, YTSDB) is a very good peek into.... something. it tells you the world is so capitalized that companies can buy the name of the entire year, as seen in the wonderful footnote denoting that at some point the entire globe designated a good threehundredsixtyfive days to the "Year of the Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade For Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems For Home, Office Or Mobile (sic)". note that 2007 in this context probably isnt a year, as they stopped using numbers here, and im pretty sure that year is 2008 or maybe 2004 or some other similar year, iunno, havent finished the book. but i just thought that was a good poke. a good little poke. it pokes at you that the corps have taken over their world... though while the claim has evidence it seems a little useless to say. but, to poke at most info as useless is to make me stupid. i want useless information. i just wanted to write that here, and fully ignore my change of heart as to the edit/new post policy ive forced 'pon myself. i guess i will edit if i deem it too recent after a new post. im writing this a few minutes, maybe 10, after the original post. i just wanted to write about years.
dreamwidth. dreamwidth. ever since i posted that little chatlog below ive felt i can write a little more loosely. my internal rules on writing felt a little less intimidating. i want to feel free to write, but i still feel it has to have substance. it has to mean. i write here a little formal, though all lowercase and no mispellings and such. besides apostrophes. but who cares about apostrophes? anyway, rereading that chatlog and then my older posts shot a stark contrast unto my sort-of literature-voice. how i read. i read by talking in my head though its essentially just typing and my mind being nothing but a monologue of what im writing as/a little before its written. a quickdraft. a few seconds before its typed i think a word in my head, like how i talk.
im a little bored. i seem to have heard that being bored is good for you. and at any rate the most my subconscious slips past me in terms of coercing me to be entertained is turning on some music.
entertainment?
that book, infinite jest, it slowly and over a quite-interestingly-almost-surely-unrelated series of probably around four stories, in a pretty linearly but not entirely linear fashion, instilled in me that entertainment is everywhere and maybe you should try not being entertained to see how big that is. the entertainment. everyone is entertained! and its okay but lately its quite a shitty entertainment. you could say about my person that it is a failed entertainment to me. ba dum tss! ("a failed entertainment" was the working name for infinite jest.)
the music is off. i turned it off a bit ago.
i guess i want my posts to be a big chunk of subjects all at once... but what if i post it and decide to write more? i dont want to edit it and i dont want to make another. but i think its a little more reasonable to make another than to edit it. but for some reason i seem to have an aversion to both. i only want to write about what's happened to me when things happen to me. i seem to want to write about actions and not thoughts. despite my efforts to catalog my thoughts. but that quarrel with myself will happen when it happens. and not now. because i am writing about my thoughts now. but i seem a little burnt out. so i will stop here.
ah! ah! a little more. an edit, to add; i think infinite jest's year system (YDAU, YTSDB) is a very good peek into.... something. it tells you the world is so capitalized that companies can buy the name of the entire year, as seen in the wonderful footnote denoting that at some point the entire globe designated a good threehundredsixtyfive days to the "Year of the Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade For Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems For Home, Office Or Mobile (sic)". note that 2007 in this context probably isnt a year, as they stopped using numbers here, and im pretty sure that year is 2008 or maybe 2004 or some other similar year, iunno, havent finished the book. but i just thought that was a good poke. a good little poke. it pokes at you that the corps have taken over their world... though while the claim has evidence it seems a little useless to say. but, to poke at most info as useless is to make me stupid. i want useless information. i just wanted to write that here, and fully ignore my change of heart as to the edit/new post policy ive forced 'pon myself. i guess i will edit if i deem it too recent after a new post. im writing this a few minutes, maybe 10, after the original post. i just wanted to write about years.
