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self perception
once again in the state. it makes me want to write poetry, you know, since i have something to make a poem out of, but i just cant really figure out what a good poem would look like. im too blunt.
i want to be perceived like i am. i want to get past my behavior, my style of writing, my phrasing, my movements, my faces, my words. i want to make anything that can cause someone to see me as i see myself. but i have no idea how. anything i do or make, any output of mine carries the taste of my behavior, and i dont know how to change it or what it really looks like. i dont know what i look like. i dont know what my voice sounds like because my skull's vibration changes how i perceive it. i dont know what my face looks like because i see it too literally to see the same gist of myself everyone else does. i dont know how i move because my only perspective is my eyes. i want to stop being a caricature of myself. i want to be seen as me. i want to see my own caricature. i want to see how im seen.
i want to be perceived like i am. i want to get past my behavior, my style of writing, my phrasing, my movements, my faces, my words. i want to make anything that can cause someone to see me as i see myself. but i have no idea how. anything i do or make, any output of mine carries the taste of my behavior, and i dont know how to change it or what it really looks like. i dont know what i look like. i dont know what my voice sounds like because my skull's vibration changes how i perceive it. i dont know what my face looks like because i see it too literally to see the same gist of myself everyone else does. i dont know how i move because my only perspective is my eyes. i want to stop being a caricature of myself. i want to be seen as me. i want to see my own caricature. i want to see how im seen.
no subject
"In my head, in my head, I am different in my head. I am someone else instead. In my head, in my head."