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comix64ive decided i want to keep Paralizer. i guess. ill use it only for the most demanding of video games, like Halo (the original one) and Alien Swarm (from 2010). mostly because of the space issues. if i ever decide i want to play on the deck, well, Steam has save data backups on my account. if i get enough space to install something i dont need to worry about saves. and i find myself playing my pirated games less and less (moreso because of what games they are than because they're pirated). though i definitely want to move Disco Elysium to Paralizer. takes up a lot of space on my microSD. but thats all. i guess i was more terrified of the change that Having Two Computers at One Desk entails. and it was pretty scary. being afraid of change sucks ass, because at the time of being afraid it seems to be justified via critique of whatever is changing, not because it's being changed. sucky sucky sucky ;-(
but, you know, i feel better. my keyboard sounds really nice and i really like typing on it, and my stereo sounds nice and i really like listening to it. life is good. i feel good. it tends to be that when i feel miserable i am not aware of just how temporary miserability is, like it tends to feel, infinite. i feel as though the state is forever and i feel enlightened though i pay no mind to such false feeling because i am focused on how changed whatever change has occurred, instead of spending any time examining my psyche enough to realize how stupid being scared of a computer is, not to mention the fact that it's 1) yours and 2) unable to do anything to you. the nature of my fear was more of a "what the hell am i gonna do with this oh fuck" rather than a "this computer is going to kill me," but you know how it is with critiqueful writing of mindlessly fearful critique. there simply is no room for such.
but, you know, i feel better. my keyboard sounds really nice and i really like typing on it, and my stereo sounds nice and i really like listening to it. life is good. i feel good. it tends to be that when i feel miserable i am not aware of just how temporary miserability is, like it tends to feel, infinite. i feel as though the state is forever and i feel enlightened though i pay no mind to such false feeling because i am focused on how changed whatever change has occurred, instead of spending any time examining my psyche enough to realize how stupid being scared of a computer is, not to mention the fact that it's 1) yours and 2) unable to do anything to you. the nature of my fear was more of a "what the hell am i gonna do with this oh fuck" rather than a "this computer is going to kill me," but you know how it is with critiqueful writing of mindlessly fearful critique. there simply is no room for such.
