![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
comix64i do all my general computing on a Steam Deck. i named it Sangre. it has a desktop mode and it does what i want. its strong enough to run whatever games i throw at it just fine. its my favorite computer. it has all my assorted data. its my primary. i have others, but i use Sangre the most. all my other computers are very old. my secondary (now tertiary) is Slab Serif, from 2007. it cant even run modern Tetris. but i was given Sangre in january of '24, and Sangre does perfectly.
for xmas i was given a new computer. i named it Paralizer. unlike Sangre, which is a computer-game-console thing, and lets you enter a game-console-like menu with your Steam games and any programs you've added to steam additional to a normal Linux desktop capable of anything a regular computer is capable of, Paralizer is just a normal desktop computer. Paralizer is relatively small but has top-of-the-line specs. it has a DDR5 RAM chip. thats very very expensive right now. Paralizer is very very powerful.
Sangre has all of my data. Sangre has my music. Sangre has my web-browser cookies. Sangre has my non-steam games. Sangre has my apps. Sangre is configured how i want it. Paralizer is new. Paralizer is much stronger. but Paralizer isn't portable at all, and i really just do not feel apt to configure all of the things i have and need over from Sangre.
Paralizer is very strong, but i just dont want it. Sangre is configured exactly how i want it. i dont feel up to the task of putting in the effort of configuring Paralizer how i'd like it, especially not duplicating how Sangre is (since im not really sure how else i want my computer to look/feel).
ideally, i would unscrew and open Sangre, and replace its specs with Paralizer. this would make Sangre stronger while keeping my stuff. but Paralizer has 1TB of storage, and Sangre only has 256GB. i desperately need more space, im almost out of space on both Sangre's internal memory and the microSD card i inserted into its base. this would also decimate Sangre's battery, since it's supposed to be a portable computer. however, this is a really ridiculous prospect, to frankenstein together the strong parts of Paralizer into Sangre. especially because i have no way of putting that 1TB of storage into Sangre. especially not while keeping my data.
i didnt ask for Paralizer. i didnt really ask for anything this christmas. but Paralizer is really good, and very expensive. i feel a little scared to reject it, especially after how much money went into it without my knowledge, and how long it took to wire together, organize, configure (lightly), install and generally get working. but i just dont want it. honestly, all i really wanted for christmas was a 1TB microSD card. to insert into Sangre. my primary computer. with all of my data on it. to give it more space. Sangre gets the job done. Sangre is able to run all of my games. in terms of the kinds of games i play, they both are able to run any program i use flawlessly. i have no need for this sort of monstrous machine. i dont really want this machine. i just want Sangre. Sangre is strong enough. Paralizer is too strong. im very frustrated by my lack of want for this beautifully strong machine. i just want to metaphysically take its 1TB of storage, put it into Sangre, and then, like, give it away i guess. but i cant do that. the damn thing is really expensive. and did i mention powerful? i have no idea what to do with it. i just feel so conflicted.
for xmas i was given a new computer. i named it Paralizer. unlike Sangre, which is a computer-game-console thing, and lets you enter a game-console-like menu with your Steam games and any programs you've added to steam additional to a normal Linux desktop capable of anything a regular computer is capable of, Paralizer is just a normal desktop computer. Paralizer is relatively small but has top-of-the-line specs. it has a DDR5 RAM chip. thats very very expensive right now. Paralizer is very very powerful.
Sangre has all of my data. Sangre has my music. Sangre has my web-browser cookies. Sangre has my non-steam games. Sangre has my apps. Sangre is configured how i want it. Paralizer is new. Paralizer is much stronger. but Paralizer isn't portable at all, and i really just do not feel apt to configure all of the things i have and need over from Sangre.
Paralizer is very strong, but i just dont want it. Sangre is configured exactly how i want it. i dont feel up to the task of putting in the effort of configuring Paralizer how i'd like it, especially not duplicating how Sangre is (since im not really sure how else i want my computer to look/feel).
ideally, i would unscrew and open Sangre, and replace its specs with Paralizer. this would make Sangre stronger while keeping my stuff. but Paralizer has 1TB of storage, and Sangre only has 256GB. i desperately need more space, im almost out of space on both Sangre's internal memory and the microSD card i inserted into its base. this would also decimate Sangre's battery, since it's supposed to be a portable computer. however, this is a really ridiculous prospect, to frankenstein together the strong parts of Paralizer into Sangre. especially because i have no way of putting that 1TB of storage into Sangre. especially not while keeping my data.
i didnt ask for Paralizer. i didnt really ask for anything this christmas. but Paralizer is really good, and very expensive. i feel a little scared to reject it, especially after how much money went into it without my knowledge, and how long it took to wire together, organize, configure (lightly), install and generally get working. but i just dont want it. honestly, all i really wanted for christmas was a 1TB microSD card. to insert into Sangre. my primary computer. with all of my data on it. to give it more space. Sangre gets the job done. Sangre is able to run all of my games. in terms of the kinds of games i play, they both are able to run any program i use flawlessly. i have no need for this sort of monstrous machine. i dont really want this machine. i just want Sangre. Sangre is strong enough. Paralizer is too strong. im very frustrated by my lack of want for this beautifully strong machine. i just want to metaphysically take its 1TB of storage, put it into Sangre, and then, like, give it away i guess. but i cant do that. the damn thing is really expensive. and did i mention powerful? i have no idea what to do with it. i just feel so conflicted.
